Creating a Calm and Consistent Bedtime Routine for Toddlers and Preschoolers
By: Embracing Her Den
Want some bedtime routine tips?! Continue reading!
Wow, I cannot believe I am even writing something like this. I feel like I’ve been through the ringer with the ever-evolving bed time struggles, routines, and successes. I want to share some of the consistent bedtime routine that has not changed since my children were at least one year old.
Keeping a bedtime routine is important for several reasons. It signals the body when it is time to transition to bed. It gives a child a sense of security and can improve quantity and quality of sleep. Research shows that a consistent bedtime routine results in earlier bedtimes, shorter sleep onset, reduced night waking, and increased sleep duration.
Nutrition (feeding, healthy snack)
Hygiene (bathing, oral care)
Communication (singing, reading)
Physical contact (cuddling, massage, rocking)
So why is it so hard? I know for me when I’m burnt out, I let them watch TV a little longer which will then push back bedtime. Other times the kids are having a tough time. We have all been there. Your child is establishing independence and wants to make their own decisions.
Our bedtime schedules have evolved over time. What we have always kept consistent is dimmed living room lights, reading as a family, brushing teeth, one last bathroom trip, brushing teeth. Dimming the lights, playing relaxing music (we used to play Disney Piano or Lofi-Beats on Spotify), and doing a calming activity like reading, coloring, cuddling helps create a calming atmosphere. This is all before our routine that we have in their bedroom. Depending on what time they wake up, we adjust the times. My children do not wake up at a consistent time. I WISH! Sometimes bedtime gets pushed back by 15-20 minutes.
What the current routine looks like for our 3 and 6 year old:
7:00p.m.-7:30p.m. front room lights are dimmed and free play. Free play can look like the kids playing pretend together, sometimes we do various puzzles as a family. The point is rough housing is done by 7.
7:30-7:35/40p.m. Kids each pick one book and we read together as a family.
7:35/40p.m. Use the bathroom, pajamas on, brush teeth (however long it takes for them).
8:00p.m. Kids are in bed!
We are in our kids’ bedrooms for approximately 10 minutes. Honestly, our 3-year-old needs more time and that is okay! There’s flexibility! We try to get them in bed by 7:45/8 p.m., even better if they are asleep by 8!
My son always wants me, and my daughter wants her dad, so it works out perfectly! Sometimes they will switch it up on us. We read one more book and tuck the kids into bed. I always give good night kisses and hugs. I have a special saying I tell them each when I tuck them in. I always briefly recap something fun we did together and say some positive affirmations, example, “I had so much fun telling jokes with you at dinner. You are so funny and kind. I love being your mom.” Sometimes if we have a rough day I make sure to tell them, “I love you no matter what”.
Personal advice from one Mom to another, set realistic expectations for yourself and children. You know what is best for your family. There may be days where bedtime routine goes smoothly and then other days where you need to rethink the routine. To create a calming bedtime I would attempt to implement dimming lights and playing relaxing music first. Tell your partners to stop ruff housing before bed! My husband always needs a reminder. Otherwise, good luck with sleep! Also, please send some luck my way!
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Sources:
Mindell JA, Li AM, Sadeh A, Kwon R, Goh DY. Bedtime routines for young children: a dose-dependent association with sleep outcomes. Sleep. 2015 May 1;38(5):717-22. doi: 10.5665/sleep.4662. PMID: 25325483; PMCID: PMC4402657.
Mindell JA, Williamson AA. Benefits of a bedtime routine in young children: Sleep, development, and beyond. Sleep Med Rev. 2018 Aug;40:93-108. doi: 10.1016/j.smrv.2017.10.007. Epub 2017 Nov 6. PMID: 29195725; PMCID: PMC6587181.
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